I started a new exercise program in January. I am writing to you from my bed. Later, I will move to the couch in my living room, then a small walk and probably back to my bed. I jacked up my back and this is the level I am performing at today and all of yesterday. I don’t know what went wrong and the dialogue in my head has been a runaway train heading straight to Negative Town. “What made you think you could do this, anyway?” Figure out what you did wrong - you can’t, can you?” “You’re never going to get anywhere.” “You always hurt yourself.” Whoa, there! I would never talk to anyone like this. If someone else spoke to me this way, I would look back blankly, wondering what kind of bad day they were having and why they were taking it out on me.
We do this, don’t we? Stop ourselves from changing and moving forward by telling ourselves we can’t do it. We allow a set-back to determine the course of our future. I would like to call bulls%*t on that idea. Why should we stay stuck in the mind of a set-back?It’s a set-back! It’s backward, by definition. You can’t go forward with a set-back. It’s impossible.
It happens with food all of the time. We eat healthy food for a period of time and we feel good. Then one day, we drive past a Raising Cane’s and the aroma overwhelms the senses (food scientists designed that smell to profit from moments like this). We crank the wheel, pull into the drive-thru, order and suddenly find ourselves eating in the parking lot! Afterward, we take a quick devil-may-care attitude. But then weird guilty thoughts creep in, “I’m not the kind of person who eats healthy food.” “I tried and it didn’t work.” “I don’t even know how I ended up in that parking lot, but I always do.” “I don’t know what made me think I could change my food habits in the first place.” Whoa, there! Bulls%*t. Eating fast food on a whim does not cancel out the healthy food we’ve been eating.
Pause
Regroup
Continue
Continue moving forward, making healthy food choices or whatever positive thing it is you’ve decided to do.
The #1 thing/things that will sabotage positive choices are negative thoughts.
If you continue to move forward, despite a set-back and tell yourself you are succeeding (not going to, not maybe, not might be), guess what? You already are!
I am not going to go any deeper than that. You and I can both take that advice today ( I know I need it!). While I am on the couch or the bed, I can call bulls%*t on my negative thoughts as they come (even laugh about them) and instead recognize that I am in a setback. Even in my set-back, or on pause, I am learning something about myself. None of us want to be spoken to like the voice in my head. It’s an abusive voice and it must be stopped. Let’s take a collective deep breath, regroup and step forward.
We are succeeding.
"The man who thinks he can and the man who thinks he can't are both right. Which one are you?"
-Henry Ford
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Kristi, as always thoughtful and articulately said. You speak of the duality that we all face and the different internal voices we hear. Hope you are feeling better soon!
Sorry about your back😥. Thanks for the pep talk it was right on time😎